Allowing Yourself To Detach – How To Lose Control

Do you find yourself trying to control every situation with a certain expected outcome in your mind?

You don’t consider yourself a control freak, but you do like things in your life to have a sense of order to them. It’s easy to justify knowing that for the most part, it works well for you. Until it doesn’t!

Can you remember a time when you wanted things to go according to plan, but there was no way it was going to happen?

It’s so easy to become attached to the expected outcome or end goal that it can rock our world when it turns out differently.

Maybe it was the relationship that went sour, the job that didn’t fulfill your expectations, or your plans for the future that didn’t go where you wanted them to.

What can you do when faced with trying to control the outcome of a situation where you have no control?

One possibility is to become detached from the outcome.  I don’t mean being detached in a negative way. Being detached can mean releasing the outcome from your control, taking things as they come, and accepting the path that presents itself. Becoming detached not only can create more ease in your life but also allow your life to unfold in a way that could be better than you could ever imagine. 

Recently, I was put to the test detaching from the outcome. This past week, my husband, son and I spent the week working our way down the California coast. I was especially excited to see the beauty of Big Sur. Many say it’s one of the most beautiful places in the country, and I didn’t want to miss any of it. 

Pfeiffer Beach was one stop along Big Sur that was a must see for me. Pulling up to the entrance we were told the parking area was full and we couldn’t stay.  

Suddenly my expected outcome was snatched away. Being a lover of the beach, flowing water along with rocks and stones, this sudden barricade in my road keeping me from my goal was not going to be easy to detach from, but I knew I had to try my best. 

We looped around and tried to enter again and were told the same thing. Not one to give up, I told my guys that I would attempt getting in four more times and if it didn’t work, we weren’t meant to go there. 

The good news is that we got the thumbs up on our second attempt. Cheers broke out in our car, and I feel that detaching from my original expected outcome made it even more rewarding. 

Our reward…Pfeiffer Beach was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in my life, and I am very grateful that things worked out the way they did. 

Where in your life could you use some detachment? Is your need to control the outcome of every situation causing you stress? Maybe you are holding onto something for way to long? Do you need to give yourself permission to detach from things beyond your control?

I would love to hear what bubbled up for you when reading this post so feel free to comment below. Should you have any questions or want to connect, you can reach me at

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