In a recent conversation with a friend, I shared a very personal life lesson. Her response was “I don’t know how open and vulnerable you’re willing to be in your blogs, but this is something worth touching on. So many of us are going through this.”
I responded that I would go there, for myself and anyone else who could learn from what I’m going through. My personal tale is one I’m sure many can relate to.
I’m deeply immersed in watching the decline of my parents. It is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever gone through. It’s one that I knew was around the corner, but I had no idea it would get here so quickly.
While they both have COPD, the simple act of breathing is something that is getting more challenging day-by-day for my Dad. With his lung capacity so low, each day is like climbing a mountain for him. Just the simple act of walking a few steps some days is unbearable for him.
And unbearable to watch at times!
With this being uncharted territory for me, I’m doing my best to navigate it by living my life through my emotions. Doing this can be so draining, but something I’m committed to doing. Suppressing emotions is never healthy for anyone.
I’ve stuffed wayyy too many emotions aside and am ready to turn that around.
My big “aha” (the latest life lesson from the conversation with my friend) is that I was coming from a place of fear–fear of loss, fear of the unknown, and fear of doing it all wrong. How could we not feel fear when faced with the prospect of losing our parents?!
However, I realized I needed to come from a place of love and not fear. Honestly, coming from a place of fear is such a low vibe energy, and one I didn’t want to stay in once it came into my awareness. When we flip from fear to love, the experience is transformed.
As I was thinking about our upcoming visit to my parents, something shifted in me. When the idea came to me to write a letter to my Dad expressing what’s in my heart, I ran with it. For those who know me well, making complete sentences when I’m feeling emotional is not one of my superpowers.
I gave myself permission to express anything I would tell him personally if I was able to get the words out. I let him know how loved he was (yeah, reminders are always good), that he was a great teacher when it comes to the importance of work AND play, and that even though we may not always be together on this earthly plane, we will be forever joined beyond the DNA.
As he was sleeping peacefully, I slipped the letter on his nightstand and it’s just waiting to be found.
I may never know if he reads my letter, but it feels so good expressing what’s on my heart and mind.
Do you feel like challenging yourself to be open with your loved ones? I know so many of you are going through this same experience.
Have you suffered the loss of a parent or close friend? Go ahead and let me know in the comments below what helped you through this difficult time.
As always, should you have any questions or want to connect, you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org.